Summer

•June 8, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Matt. 6:25-27

•January 6, 2011 • Leave a Comment

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in  barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

 

This has to be one of my favourite verses of all. It is so much so for the thoughts that I am about to write that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I took some time this morning to really process some things and as I was sitting outside on my front porch I watched the little birds out in our front pasture fly and scurry around. I was reminded again of this verse and how much significance it has and means to me. As I watched them, thoughts began to flood to mind and this is what I wrote:

As I sit here and watch the birds I am reminded, that every morning they are provided for. Every morning they have food, a place to live, freedom to roam in our yards, the air. They are blessed. I love in Matt how it is written that how much more value we have than them to You. If God puts so much detail in to providing for “the birds” – they have an endless buffet to eat at; their’s till their hart is content – If God can put so much time and effort in to providing for every single tiny and big bird on this planet, don’t you think he would do that much more for his people? His people whom we risked his only son for? His people whom he has not forgotten but thinks about them CONSTANTLY!  Don’t you know that he already has done that much more for you and I? He has carefully ordained every single day so that you will have the specifics of what you need to accomplish what needs to be accomplished that day. He has already prepared the way. Those birds do not fret, do not worry, do not complain to one another about how they have so little or how the birds’ next door nests look better than theirs. They seek and they find. They wait and are ready for the harvest when it comes. They are expectant of what their maker provides for them daily. They do not groan, they do not find a corner and get depressed in because they have not. They are thankful for what comes. I will not waste my life worrying about what’s next or how its going to work out. My God is greater, stronger, You are HIGHER than any other. You are healer, awesome in power, my God. I trust you. I am confident in you who works all things for our good in time. I know you are for me. You have faithfully shown me time and time again. My trust is in Him. Not in man. Man cannot provide for me. Man cannot give me the essentials that I need daily. He will fail to be consistent and faithful. But not my God. My God has been and will always be faithful to the end. He is pure and without fault. I do not view trust with  my God the way trust is with man. We are fallen and broken people therefore our words are fallen and broken words. We will fail every time to deliver a promise held at someone’s specific expectation. Thankfully, God overrules all expectations and promises made by man. HE is above it all. That is why my trust with him is secure because He will never fail to deliver. He is faithful.

Broken

•December 7, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Broken: Reduced to fragements; torn; ruptured; fractured; not functioning properly; out of working order; infringed or violated; disconnected, weakened in strength or spirit; to make a way through; penetrate.

So many of us have found ourselves in at least one of these words. The word broken has such a heavy meaning to it. Every word described hurts with brokenness. I don’t know why but I am troubled by this thought of being broken. It is a painful paradox. In order to grow, to move forward, truly, we have to be broken in some way. Broken thought pattern, broken actions, broken physically, emotionally, spiritually. We have to come apart in order to be put back together in a better way than what we were before. Some of us never allow ourselves to be put back together. We become full of pride and build walls around our brokenness not letting anyone come in or see how bad we are truly hurting. We carry on in our broken state becoming more and more broken and more and more in pain, hurting everyone around us. We are like Midas with the golden touch instead, we have the hurtful touch. What is it that helps us change from our broken ways? Humbleness? Obedience? A death to self? I have found in my brokenness that I can fight all I want and build up my walls, but I will never win. I will become bitter, ugly to the core, selfish. I will never change unless I give up my hurt, my pain, the ruptured fragmented way of me. And when I do, the change is so radical that it frightens me yet excites me for who I could become. I trade my ugly broken self for someone who is beautifully restored, put back together. The old self becomes a blur in time and I continue to move forward into the person I was made to be all along.

There is more to life than wasting it on our hurt broken self. It is not an easy thing to get over, to change, but it is one that we should change and move on from. Myself does not deserve pity or wallowing. I will build myself a grave if I stay in that mindset. You are missing out on who you could be if you decide to stay in that mindset. There is so much more of yourself that you don’t even know because you sit and waste time over your brokenness which you have already been restored from.

 

These are just some thoughts that I had that I needed to write out.

 

Know that He loves you through your brokenness and will see you to the end of it. He will never give up on you. He is faithful.

Crows and Locusts

•November 12, 2010 • Leave a Comment

It was the year
The crows and the locusts came
The fields drained dry the rain
The fields are bleeding

“Daddy don’t cry, it’ll be alright”
She puts some water on the wound
And hums a little tune
While her courage puddles on the ground
Pooling, pooling

See the murder and the swarm descend
And the night is getting thick
The moon telling her tricks
She’d betray her every time

It was the year
The crows and the locusts came
The fields drained dry the rain
The fields are bleeding

It was the age
The foxes came for the fields
We were bleeding as we bowed to kneel
And prayed for mercy, prayed for mercy

The rumble is low and the heat is high
Got a feeling that there’s rain out in the oil black sky
Gonna chase away the devil when that sun does rise
Gonna plead the blood
Gonna plead the blood

It was the year
The crows and the locusts came
The fields drained dry the rain
The fields are bleeding

It was the age
The foxes came for the fields
We were bleeding as we bowed to kneel
And prayed for mercy, prayed for mercy

She limps on up to the top of a mount
Looks at the faltered harvest
Feels her sweat in the ground and the burn in her nose
And the knowing in her guts
Something’s still gonna grow
She ain’t leaving ’till it does.

What can wash away my sin
Nothing but the blood…
What can make me whole again
Nothing but the blood…

-BFrazer

Hope

•November 8, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Ive been going through my closets and drawers and cleaning out old stuff that I have had since elementary school…..ridiculous i know and its about time. Anyways I found this essay I wrote on Hope when I was a freshman in high school. Thought it was interesting….my brain/thoughts back then that is….check it out…

Hope

Hope…..what is that anyways? We hear it all the time, in songs, TV, friends, family. In relationships, sickness….and even death. Its every where we look, throughout the entire nation. Our very lives depend upon it whether your realize it or not. Hope is something we hang onto when we’ve reached the worst and most painful times of our lives. IT’s something that keeps us from living in fear, something that tells us things are gonna get better. Throughout our entire lifetime we hope. “I hope that guy really likes me,” or “I hope I get that job I so desperately need.” ” I hope mom and dad don’t get a divorce.” “I hope, no i pray dad doesn’t beat me again.” “I hope my best friend doesn’t die.” Webster’s definition says, hope is just a feeling that what is wanted, will happen. I think that hope is what gets up up int he morning, what helps us live each day. Hope lets us look forward to starting over completely refreshed. Hope builds confidence in others and ourselves. Hope gives us a reason to believe that there’s more to life than what this world has to offer. Can people really live without believing in something? We all have different values and morals that help shape and mold who we are. Without them we wouldn’t know what to turn to. Its just something to think about. Something to keep in mind when desperate times call for desperate measures. So I just want to ask this one question, what’s your reason for having hope?

 

At first when I read this I just laughed…..at myself. Its immature in some ways but at the same time its amazing to see how much ive grown in my thoughts and in my writing….

 

just thought id share….remember i wrote that in the 9th grade!

Finding it hard to breathe…

•September 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

You ever feel surrounded by so many people, suffocated even, yet you feel so alone?

Feelings emerge of not belonging anymore, not fitting in anymore, time to move on.

Even in the quite times where you are alone and there is time to think, its hard to be at peace. Mind is constantly racing, thoughts of good things and bad.

What does real rest look like? Being fully refreshed, able to breathe with no hesitation. New life seems so far away, a new place, a new pair of eyes.

I feel so crowded even in my own thoughts.

I am aching for a place to get away, to really rest, to not wake up within the night, with pain, with tired eyes. I am desperately wanting a drink of water that will satisfy every part of me.

I want him. I need him.

He is what gives breath to my lungs. He provides for me daily. I need his embrace daily. I am nothing without him.

These things in my head…

•September 13, 2010 • Leave a Comment